two posts in one day?! aren't you lucky. i need help. i need suggestions, thoughts, ideas...anything really. i'm in a funk. i don't like it one bit. i don't know what to do to shake it. i'm sure these feelings are totally normal for someone in my situation. i know that the things i'm thinking are completely ridiculous and irrational, but i'm still thinking them. that, to me, is the most frustrating thing of all.
my whole life i've been the type of person who likes to be surrounded by people. i have never liked being alone. ever. yet, here i am...alone. i know technically i'm not alone. i have friends and family. but i feel alone. alone in my situation i guess. i'm trying my hardest to see the positive in it (because i do know that it's for the best) but that's not always easy. and sometimes i feel like maybe i will be alone forever. which again, is ridiculous.
you know what i hate even more than being alone? rejection. and let me tell you. having someone tell you after five years of marriage that they don't want to be with you anymore....probably the worst form rejection ever. how does your self-esteem recover from something like that? and now i live every day feeling like rejection is going to be the new norm for me. that i should expect it. that no one will want to be with me. well, except creepy guys in airports :) i guess if i ever got real desperate i could resort to that. but in all seriousness...part of me knows that this isn't true, yet i can't keep myself from thinking it. am i nuts?
i feel like i've been handling myself really well through all of this. but these moments of hopelessness keep creeping in. i don't like it. i'm trying my hardest to keep this from getting me down. maybe it's ok to just have depressing days once in a while? this is two in a row though, and i don't know how much more i can handle. also, i'm back to not sleeping...which makes everything twice as bad.
i'm not intending this post to be a pity party. i'm just asking for advice. suggestions. how do you handle your bad days? i'm not a depressing person. i'm a happy person. i want to be my happy self again.
xoxo-meg
Getting the funk out of Funky, time and keeping busy. You know that our door is always open and there is a bed for you if you need it. HUG's
ReplyDeleteHey Megs! I would love to tell you my thoughts about what I do on my down days. Are you verizon? Message me on facebook if you want my number. Love you!
ReplyDeleteTime and keeping busy. A support group or even a counselor could help you sort out your feelings.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in my prayers.