on being awkward...

i have a tendency to make things awkward. not intentionally, but i do. i mean, sometimes i don't know what to say in a situation, so i try to make a joke. usually that joke is no good. or if i'm in a situation where i feel like i have the potential to embarrass myself, i get super quiet (which is totally not like me). then people think i'm mad. or shy. i feel like these awkward tendencies are not going to bode well for me when/if i ever start dating. like how do you even date? it's been 6 years since i've done it. this has the potential to get weird. fast. and i'm a little nervous about it. 

if the fact that i've gone through the big D, haven't dated in 6 years, and have a tendency to be awkward isn't enough, let's add something else to the equation. look what i got today...

the guy-magnet

that's right folks. i'm a retainer-wearing 24 year old. as i laid in the chair looking up the nostrils of my orthodontist, i was suddenly haunted by flashbacks from 7th grade. oh the pain, the awkwardness. i was homely. and i had headgear. not the normal kind that went behind your neck. the football helmet kind. this kind...

oh the agony

we have quite a few family pictures from our brief stint in australia that are forever ruined by the nasty headgear. why didn't i take it off for photos at least? i mean honestly. it looks like my family picked up a lost creature from the unknown. super unattractive. 

on the bright side, at least i didn't have to get braces again. but seriously. i doubt the retainer is going to do much for me as far as attracting male suitors goes. and what if i do score a date, and we go to dinner, and i'm all "oh hey, don't mind me, i just need to remove my bright pink retainer from my mouth and put it in this here case before we eat. ok?". hopefully i don't have any repeats of the time in 10th grade when we went to chuck-a-rama (barf) after a softball tournament and i threw my retainer away. my mother made me go dig through the garbage cans to find it. picture me and my friend in the back kitchen of the chuck digging through giant nasty food filled garbage cans. but guess what? i found it. i can't believe i actually wore it again after that. nast.

xoxo-meg